Why talk to a therapis? - Michelle Fitzgerald

My answer to this question is ‘why not?’

There is much stigma around seeing a therapist whether it’s what I practice – Psychotherapy and Counselling (yes there is a difference) or a psychologist, social worker, youth counsellor, mindfulness coach or the plethora of other types of therapists you can find out there.

The right therapist for you.

The things is, you may not hit the right therapist the first time so don’t lose heart. I always say to my new clients that I don’t know if I’m the right person but if we can work on simply the conversation, the Narrative, then the relationship will grow just like any other. We work towards what’s called a ‘therapeutic alliance’ which basically means ‘if you like me – and I like you, we can move forward together’.

The other consideration which I’m completely open about with clients, is that I am not necessarily the right therapist for all of your journey. You may choose to introduce other modalities or processes to compliment and progress your trajectory to a better way of being in the world. This may include the following:

Yoga
Reiki
Hypnotherapy
Homeopathy
Sandplay
Energy work
Massage
Join a gym
Group work
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT)
Somatic Psychotherapy
EMDR
Brain Spotting
Psychodynamic Therapy
Narrative Therapy

The list is literally endless and you need to follow your intuition, your gut feeling about what may the right path to take. I encourage that absolutely.

The right modality of therapy for you.

So on the subject of modality, which one is the right one for you. Now that isn’t a question that I can answer for you however if for example you have ADHD then endeavouring to bring meditation into the process too early can be disheartening as it’s too hard to focus. I like to encourage small moments of mindfulness for individuals who struggle with this, along with the reframing of thinking, challenging current thoughts and behaviours, looking at the world through differing positions and lenses is helpful for everyone especially when your mind in constantly in ‘rapid fire’ and prioritising is difficult.
Some individuals thrive on CBT, they love the ordered nature of the modality, others like the cohesiveness and challenge of group work, Existentialism very appealing to some. I find an eclectic approach is attractive to most, standing on the robust shoulders of the Narrative approach gives a great foundation for the work in the room. I’ll outline my ‘Six Pillar’ approach shortly which I feel covers the whole person, the whole story, the whole being. I also include Somatic work, Polyvagal theory, Neuroscience, Psycho-education, Heart Math Breathing, Mindfulness and Meditation to name a few.

The right location for you.

COVID lockdown gave me a few gifts. I didn’t turn the key to my office for six months so I didn’t think I would be able to keep my practice open. I also left home for seven months and headed North to Queensland as borders were closing, packed up my car, my dog and my life…left my husband and youngest to look after the home front. Our eldest was 30 weeks pregnant in July 2020 and had two house moves before the baby arrived and I absolutely wasn’t missing that so off we went, just me and my dog and a lot of tears driving up the M1 to be with our eldest girl. In August 2020 a random post on a community page here in The Hawkesbury led me to a young lady that changed my life, I had a ‘Business Coach’ through the Australian Business Network and it was a Government initiative that cost nothing. This saved my practice and kept my office key in my work bag to use when I returned home and the Covid lockdown over.
I became an Online Therapist and Zoom was the saviour of my work. My calendar was full and I was on the way. Location didn’t matter anymore as Zoom brought us all together. I had (and still have) clients in New Zealand, The Middle East, Central Victoria, Central NSW and all my regulars from Sydney. So don’t be afraid to connect with the right therapist via this method, I was 100% online for 6 months and it was absolutely great. Now of course we’re trying to move forward as normal as possible and I’m about 20% on zoom with the rest face to face, some of my clients travel up to an hour to attend an appointment which I take as a great privilege. Your job is to decide if the right therapist is worth the travel or can they zoom and you get what you need out of that process.

The Six Pillars

When you come for your first session with me, I usually do a family system. This means basically your family tree including extended family, your support networks, your ‘besties’, your ‘worsties’, your employment, studies, loves, likes, dislikes and so much more. I also talk about the ‘Six Pillars’ of my work.

The Narrative – as mentioned earlier this is the foundation of my work. Your story and how you sit with your story is pivotal, how the world impacts you, how you process, who is in your world and so on. Your story is the building block of our relationship.
Breathing Work – I don’t care what method you use, I just want you to include conscious breathing work into your daily life. I teach the HeartMath method which I love and as a HM Practitioner it’s made a huge difference in my own life…I do practice what I preach.
Meditation/Mindfulness – Meditation isn’t what you think….(I love that little joke) however it’s so true! Meditation doesn’t have to be about sitting cross legged and chanting OM! That works for some but it can be as easy as finding a quiet corner with a comfortable chair, popping in the earphones and doing a guided body scan meditation from YouTube. Spotify, iTunes, YouTube, the Calm App, Insight Timer App, Headspace App to name just a few resources for you when it comes to meditation and mindfulness practices. Mindfulness can be as simply as taking 30 seconds to stop, look, listen, feel, hear, smell your surrounds. Awareness of space and awareness of the space around the space…30 seconds of mindfulness 3 times a day is completely doable.
Nutrition – I am not a Nutritionist however you may be surprised (or not) how much crap and pseudo foods some people have in their diet and don’t realise it. I ask you to consider your sugar and processed foods intake and look at your trolley at the grocery store. Is it full of fresh fruit and vegetables, sourdough, real butter, healthy proteins and healthy food choices? Do you minimise take away such as KFC and McDonalds, I haven’t had KFC in almost 30 years and the most I will have from Maccy D’s is a coffee and toasted sandwich on the road to Queensland if I haven’t prepped an esky with healthy food options….yes we travel ALOT to Queensland with two of our three children living there at the moment. Nutrition plays a huge role in our emotional health, gut health is paramount and I always encourage people to do their own research and slowly change their dietary habits. I have auto-immune disease so I know my body loves good food and it complains if I don’t. At the moment I don’t drink alcohol, I haven’t had soft drink in 15 years, I don’t consume dairy except very occasional cheese and some butter, I only eat sourdough and only a few times a week, I have minimum two cups of vegetables/salad and 2 pieces of fruit every day, good protein, I have green or raw juice a few times a week, I include fermented foods every day and so on. You get the picture….It truly makes such a big difference to my emotional self when I stick to the program.
Movement – I move every – single – day! I live and breath my Apple Watch Fitness App and I set a target of 11,000 steps a day. Whether it’s Yoga, walking, horse riding, cycling, paddling my kayak…I move every day. It’s so important to include intentional exercise in your day and this helps to clear your mind, move your joints, and help with your emotional regulation. I prefer not to put earphones in as I want to feel my surroundings, hear the birds, the wind, feel and be in my moments. You do what works for you but I encourage my clients to start with 10 minutes walk from their front door and back, that’s 20 minutes and you’re on your way. Do it twice a day and that’s 40 minutes. So many ways to increase your movement, park further from the shops, take the dog for a walk, hang your washing out and don’t put it in the dryer, park further from your work, get up 15 minutes earlier and stretch or walk around your block, touch your toes every hour or make folding the washing your workout…seriously!!!! When I fold the washing I put each piece away separately and do 6 squats every time I leave the laundry, you won’t believe how many steps that adds to my daily tally and the quicker I do it the better.
Plus or Minus Medication or Supplements – now it’s not in my practice to diagnose nor prescribe medication. My role is to identify issues, do mental health assessments such as the K10 and DASS, collaborate with your GP and Psychiatrist if you have one and that’s their role. Some individuals do well with simply the sessions and others need pharmacological intervention to help them along. Medication or supplements are on occasion pivotal to journey and we work together to a place of acceptance on this so we can move forward.

So why talk to a Therapist?

I guess whether you have anger issues, have a relational breakdown, trouble sleeping, childhood trauma, work problems, family system challenges… the list is long but the solution is the same. There are no problems – only solutions and choices to be made. A therapist can help to navigate those difficult and bumpy roads, hold the beacon and walk beside you on the way. A therapist can gently offer you a different way of being in the world that’s softer, manageable and more tolerable. A therapist can help you to embrace every breath, every sunset and every sunrise no matter what the universe throws at you.

Thanks for reading my blog!